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Your 40sec will help us help you 🙂
A humorous yet serious message from
Head Coach, That’s me with the big arms…and the only one in the picture:)
Dearest Prospective New Internet Friend/Client!
…only read this if you want to laugh and get in shape at the same time, *sense of humor required*
We are excited to have the opportunity to work together…in the real world!
If you have a friend who told you about our program, then you already know it’s the real deal. So you can skip to the bottom and click the apply button.
…If not, keep reading (or don’t, and just apply, that’s cool too, but this gets kind of entertaining)…
…Back to the serious point: this program isn’t for everyone, which is why we ask people to apply instead of just paying for it online.
**DISCLAIMER–Who this is NOT for 😡😡😡**
… don’t laugh at jokes
… don’t smile
… hate puppies
…hate other people
…hate fun-loving supportive communities
…love traffic (eww, who are you?)
…betrayed their closest friend that one time
…are NOT dedicated to their goals
…prefer to giving excuses to getting results
…just sign up for things thinking the act of signing up will solve their problem
Who this IS for (we 💞 you)
…want a proven method of getting results
… are willing to move their bodies 3 days a week
…are willing to discover a new way of eating (yes you can eat the good stuff too, we’ll show you how)
…love puppies, sunshine, laughter, fun communities , christmas presents, “fall back” time changes.
…are 100% badasses who just need a kickstart to get them going again
…realize that 12 weeks may seem like a long time but will be over before you know it, and are dedicated to larger goals than just thinking back on their lives of “that one time” they looked good…you know who you are.
Why do we ask for applications
Many reasons, but these are the top 3:
1) Because it takes 60sec. And if you don’t have the motivation to do that, what’s the likelihood you’ll show up to your sessions at all or even answer the phone when we call you? That way people who aren’t dedicated weed themselves out.
2) We do that because we want to make sure you pass the “stuck in the airport test” meaning…if you can carry on a conversation and are generally a fun person to be around who will be a positive part of the group (if you’re normal or extraordinary, you should be fine ).
3) We actually genuinely want to make sure you want to do this. We have an insanely high success percentage, and like to keep it that way, and a big part of that is honestly weeding people out who are not ready.
So…if you were crazy enough to get this far you might be our kind of crazy
…and meet us in the REAL WORLD